Self Criticism and Kindness

 It’s an all too natural human thing.  For those of us who aren’t narcissistic anyway.  We can be our own worst critics.  We scrutinize ourselves more than other people ever would.  Part of it is our humility which is a good thing.  If we didn’t possess self scrutiny then we could become very egotistical and lose our humility.  When feeling self critical, though, it is important to remember that good and kind people love us and others for who we are.  Good people focus on the good qualities of others and aren’t looking to pick others apart.  The good qualities that we see in others inspire us and are a roll model to us for who we would like to be ourselves.  In truth most people are focused on their own self scrutiny and not on scrutiny of others.  The humanness that we find in others can only make us feel better about our own humanness.  We are all only human.  Yes, the world has its haters and angry people who need targets and sometimes we have to run into them.  They don’t see though that their hateful and angry feelings originate and lie within themselves.  They just believe that others deserve their scorn and hatred.  Perhaps maybe these people are just really in need of love and acceptance themselves.  Maybe they lash out against others because it is their unfortunate way of feeling better about themselves.  “If I tear you apart and bring you down, then I have boosted myself because you are the most pathetic person and not me,”  It is important to not let such people erode our own self worth because they are not a reflection of our self worth.  Nor is too much self criticism.  Our healthiest and most productive attitude and emotion is that of kindness and acceptance both toward others and also toward ourselves. I remember there was a bit of wonderful advice going around social media not too long ago that I personally really liked.  It was this.  “Be kind.  It’s that simple.”  I think this is great advice both for how we treat others and also for what we should strive to grant to ourselves.  We all have to find this attitude within ourselves and choose for ourselves to believe it.